emo, go away

I hate it here. I'm so fucking lonely

Ever want to scream FUCK at the top of your lungs but you don't because there are kids really close by and you don't want to scare them? thats how I feel right now.  Maybe I'll drive around until I find a field to scream "fuck" in.

I HATE the strings I put on my guitar. they suck ASS. now I can't even fucking play it because they won't fucking tune. thats real fucking great, the only thing i really WANT to do and I can't because it sounds so off that it makes me really really angry.

I'm in such a bad mood that I don't even want to sing. thats how you know my mood is all fucked up. 

I'd go home but my dad would probably just yell at me within 2 hours. My Aunt is in a bad mood now. She asks me how my day was and I tell her a dilema I'm having and she totally gives me an attitude like "i don't care". 

FUCK

I just want to sleep for the next 3 years of my life. I know they are going to blow if they are anything like today.

I hate this so much

Wow, sorry for the emo entry but I warned you with the fucking subject....whatever

Currently Listening Rent (2005 Movie Soundtrack) see related

Well its 10:13am on sunday morning and I don't think I've ever missed my mom so much.  Its our sunday tradition to watch the show Sunday Morning together.  I could go and watch the show by myself if I wanted to, but I don't because I would probably just cry the whole time.  Moving away is so hard!

On a better note all my classes are pretty easy and my sch. isn't too bad. Mondays and Thursdays I'm home from school by 10:40 in the morning! Tuesdays suck though cause I'm there from 8:30am-8:30pm...12 hours of school. yuck yuck yuck

I hate days when I have stupid things to do like 15 math problems, get fuel for the car, do laundry, look over my notes....I wish I was really really busy combined with all those things because then I would have a lot more motivation to actually do all of it.  They are all neccessary but they all really suck especially when I miss my mom. 

I feel like I've hit a wall. I'm immobilized.

Hello all! sorry for the long delay in posting.

Life has been pretty rough for the past couple of days.

Critter had bladder stones which he had to get an operation to fix. He has stiches on his belly and really bad bruising and he has to wear one of those funnel thingies. He was really uncomfortable when we first brought him home. It's almost been a week since the surgery so his tummy is starting to look a little better. We had a really bad scare on Tuesday. My dad accidently gave Critter his ADD medication Aderol, 10 Mgs of it instead of the intibiotic that Critter is suppossed to take to prevent infection from his surgery. We were very very close to loosing Critter. His temp. shot up to 106 and he was confused and his heart was beating so fast it almost shut down. But, Praise God, Critter threw up the pill and the vet sedated him and now he is fine. 

And on tuesday I noticed that right beind my jaw and under my ear my neck was killing me. Turns out I have some weird kind of infection that is competely not problem, just really uncomfortable.  It was making me dizzy on Monday right before I noticed the neck pain because its somehow related to my ear. Oh well, its going away now.

Hmm, Ok, I had some really really fun times on Monday. I went to the bowling alley with A-dawg (adrienne), her friend Jordan and my Matt. We had a really really good time and I did surprisingly well for the first game. We decided to make it our Monday night tradition. I'm really excited for monday lol, I can't wait to go again.

The weather is beautiful today and since I have no car till my mom gets home, I can't go to work until 5:30pm which means I'll just have to lay out and get a tan today since it would almost be a sin not too.

Currently Listening PCD By The Pussycat Dolls Buttons see related

I got a cell phone! woot woot! I put the # in my AIM profile so if you want it you now know where to find it! Text me sometime! it's fun.

In other news my car is almost entirly dead.  There is oil where there should be antifreeze...which is very bad. My dad's friend thinks it's a blown head gasket and I was like, "Oh right, the head basket..sure" *nods*. All I know is that it's bad and our mechanic is in Europe until this weekend or maybe next. *sigh* not fair! with this going on I'm going to have a hard time getting to work but maybe I will get to work daytime hours for at least a couple days.

PS: I'm totally addicted to all these raunchy songs like "buttons". I don't know whats wrong w/ me. I actually have a playlist on my ipod titled "Booty Mix"....that is just sad

PSS: I'm also totally addicted to Matt. We had some really good conversation last night. I'm so thankful that I'm with him.  He makes me feel so attractive and smart and interesting and cute. I love him so very very much.  Last night was so fun. We went to the Olive Garden and ordered the same thing lol. One of the waitresses walked by and smelled me and said I smelled really nice . woot woot.  Then we went to Merrill Creek and it was actually open and we went and sat by the water. I was wearing this really short skirt and heels and I almost fell over (but i looked gooood).  It was so beautiful there. The sky was all pretty and pastel and little fish kept jumping out of the water making pretty water rings.  So peaceful and it was nice to just be in his arms. It's the most comfortable place on earth. We were literally right on the edge of the water, I managed to keep my shoes perfectly dry except when we got up to leave and my shoe fell of my foot and into the water. *sigh* I was almost graceful and then I had to go and drop my friggin' shoe. The rest of the night was fun too, we drove around a bit and went to Key City. I love him so much. <3 <3 <3